Hearing Loss Help  

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A lady explained,

I am 38 years old. I have no hearing loss, yet I experience Musical Ear Syndrome (MES). Over the last couple of years, I began noticing that when things are very quiet, like silent almost, I hear faint music. I describe it as hearing a radio station through a pillow. It will sound like a country station one night, a 50s style radio host the next night and maybe classic rock the next night. I can’t make out words or complete songs, but there is a form to the music. If I turn on a noise machine, which helps drown out my husband’s snoring, the MES tends to be louder.

I’m just wondering about experiencing these auditory hallucinations w/out any of the monikers usually associated with the syndrome. I have no hearing loss, I have 3 young children so I certainly don’t have a lack of auditory stimulation and although I have experienced tinnitus from time to time, I don’t think the frequency is any more than any other non-hearing impaired person.

Some people hear faint tinnitus when it is very quiet. Thus, I’m not surprised that you hear faint music when it is very quiet. I think that is your brain wanting to hear something—and when it can’t, it makes up its own so to speak.

I’m not surprised that your “noise machine” makes your phantom music louder. In fact, this is relatively common.

A continuous sound such as a fan running in the background—it could be a furnace, air conditioner, fridge, bedroom fan, etc.—seems to cause numbers of people to hear phantom music.

Somehow the brain takes this constant background sound and modulates it into music. Some people have specifically noticed they hear phantom music whenever their furnace/air conditioner comes on and goes away when their furnace/air conditioner cycles off. Your noise generator is doing much the same thing for you. This is a special kind of MES that is relatively common in people with normal hearing.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A concerned daughter wrote,

My mother is 78. She has been very reclusive since her retirement about 15 years ago and has no contact with anyone other than me on the phone and one of my brothers. Along with her isolation, she has a bit of paranoia about sounds she says she hears in the walls. At one point she cut all the phone wires to stop the noise.

She definitely has hearing loss and several years ago specialists tried to get her to use a hearing aid but she rejected it during the trial period because she didn’t like the sound of her own voice. She blasts her TV which is evident whenever I call to talk with her so I know she can’t hear well.

In the last 6 or 7 months she began complaining about music blasting at all hours of the night. The music was so loud that she would be awake at 2:00 in the morning shaking and sweating from the stress. Eventually she started to believe that my brother was doing this to her remotely, and that he probably had put speakers in her attic and walls and makes the music go on whenever he wants to drive her crazy.

I live in a different state and primarily talk to her by phone. My brother does most of her shopping and brings her to doctors’ appointments when needed. He has been a very decent care giver.

We both started researching her situation and kept coming to articles on Musical Ear Syndrome. She has been resistant to believe this is possible until recently when I printed out pages from your website and sent them to her. I think I have her attention finally. I also ordered your book and I’m hoping she reads it and continues to believe that Musical Ear Syndrome (MES) is the explanation to her situation.

It would seem that she is a prime candidate for having MES. She is elderly, female, has had tinnitus, has hearing loss, is isolated, does not use her own voice much, and has been taking Elavil for over 25 years for depression.

I have suggested to her that she read out loud several times a day. I am trying to get her to take a walk around the block a couple of times a day as well so her ears hear different sounds. I think she also needs to see a specialist who can test her, convince her she is not going crazy, that my brother is not doing anything to her and find an appropriate course of action.

I’m sure you have plenty of emails like this and appreciate any advice you can give us. I will share your response with her.

I find it sad that your mother has largely withdrawn from life. Life is so much more exciting when you “join” the world rather than live apart from it.

I hear from numbers of daughters (and a few sons) telling me about their parents’ Musical Ear experiences. Some of their parents become what appears to be paranoid—but when you understand that they are responding to (phantom) sounds (which they believe to be real), you realize that those thoughts and actions are in fact logical and rational given what they believe they are hearing is true. Of course, from our point of view they may appear to be irrational—but then, we are not “hearing” what they are hearing.

The phantom music can be loud for some people—and because it seems so real, no wonder she was afraid about what was going on. That can give rise to further, and at times farfetched, scenarios such as when she began to believe that your brother put speakers in her attic and walls and played the music whenever he wanted to drive her crazy.

Of course your brother isn’t doing this. But I’ve received similar stories where the person blamed the landlord for supposedly doing similar things, or blamed her husband.

The reason for this is that the person is desperately searching for a rational reason why they are hearing these sounds. To them, the only alternative is to admit that they are crazy. Since they don’t want to admit that they are “losing it”, they come up with “rational” reasons to blame the phantom sounds on others.

The way to help people in this situation is to explain what MES is—that MES sounds, although truly phantom, are benign sounds. In other words, the person hearing these phantom sounds doesn’t have a mental problem, but rather has an auditory problem. You need to remind them that they are not crazy—that they are sane—even though they can hear phantom sounds.

Now that you have her attention, hopefully she will stop blaming your brother. You’ll know she has things firmly under control when she can say when she hears her phantom music, “my brain is fooling me again” and let it go at that. When this happens often the phantom sounds will begin to fade into the background. But even if they don’t, she won’t be afraid of them anymore.

Unfortunately, people that are depressed tend to focus more on such things. By worrying about them, she will just make the situation worse.

Your ideas of getting her to read out loud several times a day, and to walk around the block a couple of times a day are good ideas—both for her mental and physical health as well as to try to control the phantom sounds. I have found that more social interaction, focusing on the loves of you life and surrounding yourself with real sounds all help to bring MES under control.

There are a number of other tips in dealing with Musical Ear Syndrome in my book, “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds“.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

Back in 2004 when I coined the name “Musical Ear Syndrome” for the strange musical hallucinations many hard of hearing people secretly experience, I never dreamed that someone would actually make a movie about it. But that is what has just happened. In fact, this short movie was one of 12 films nominated for inclusion in the prestigious 2011 Virgin Media Shorts film competition, the UK’s biggest short-film competition.

Ian Gamester, a Liverpool filmmaker, made the short list with a touching documentary starring his grandmother, Cath Gamester, who, after being prescribed anti-depressants by her doctor, now suffers from Musical Ear Syndrome (MES). As Ian explained, “She kept hearing the same songs again and again and thought that someone was playing a record loudly.”

Unfortunately, Ian did not win any of the three top spots at the gala judging competition on November 10, 2011, but just being nominated for this prestigious competition has helped more people become aware of Musical Ear Syndrome.

You can watch this 2 minute and 20 second black and white film here.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A man wrote:

My 70ish mother has just started ‘hearing’ phantom singing. She is hearing hymns sung by angels and sometimes the beating of drums. She is a church-goer and as long as i can remember has been humming hymns at home.

A few months ago she became aware she was ‘hearing’ faint singing, but now it has gotten more serious. I say serious because she had no idea of what was going on. First she thought the house had an evil spirit, then she thought she was going to die because the hymns that she sings speak of going ‘home’ and those same hymns are

being sung in her ear by phantom angels accompanied at times by phantom drums.

She is healthy and is not going to die. Although God’s will is His will, she will not die because of the words in the hymns.

What’s funny is she only ‘hears’ the music and singing when it’s quiet and the heater or fridge kicks in, or water is running. Somehow those noises translate into music, then singing. Otherwise if there’s noise throughout the house, or she’s busy or even gets out of the house, she doesn’t hear the phantom singing.

Your mom’s experience and her interpretation of what she is “hearing” is not all that uncommon. Depending on their religious backgrounds, people jump to various spiritual interpretations of the phantom sounds they hear. However, the truth is that these sounds all are coming from inside her brain. Her auditory circuits are receiving some information from her memory. Thus she is “hearing” these phantom sounds as though they were real sounds.

It is not uncommon for people to hear hymns if they have been church goers and like hymns. She already had these hymns firmly in her memory long before she began experiencing Musical Ear Syndrome.

Again, depending on their religious background, some people believe that they hear angels singing beautiful music in the days or hours before they are going to die. This may be true in some cases—but I believe that the vast majority of people that hear such sounds are really experiencing Musical Ear Syndrome. I guess the proof would be if the person died soon after hearing this “heavenly music”—but in my experience this has not happened. So, like you, I don’t believe your mom has to worry about dying at this point.

I’m finding that more and more people are sensitive to constant background sounds like the furnace or fridge or air conditioner cycling on and off. These background sounds trigger Musical Ear Syndrome sounds in numbers of people. Somehow their brains either superimpose music onto a continuous background sound.

Since your mom only hears the phantom music and singing when the furnace cycles on or the fridge is running, this shows that it is a “physical” condition, not a spiritual one.

Fortunately, she only hears such sounds when the house is otherwise silent apart from the furnace or fridge running. When she is busy doing various activities, her brain is busy too. It has no time to produce the phantom sounds. However, when she is not busy doing something and the house is quiet apart from the fridge or furnace running, her brain again manufactures the phantom music.

One solution, once she understands what is happening, is for her to keep a radio or the TV on in the background to give her brain real sounds to listen to so it doesn’t feel the need to manufacture the Musical Ear Syndrome sounds.

In any case, once she understands what is happening, she is free to enjoy the phantom music if she so chooses—or to “drown it out” with real sounds if she doesn’t.

Some people love their phantom music; some just tolerate it; and others can’t stand it. If she’s in the first group, it makes life so much easier.

She can learn much more about the strange Musical Ear Syndrome sounds she hears and ways to bring them under control in my book, “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds“.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A lady explained,

I deal with noise complaints for a local authority. I have had some complaints that I believe are musical hallucinations, and have read and used your article about Musical Ear Syndrome (MES) to assist. We often also deal with complaints of low frequency noises, hums, washing machines, etc. that we cannot detect.

Having read your articles, I would like to know whether you consider simple noises such as those where the complainants claim they can hear washing machines/ tumble driers, generators, rumbles (sometimes with the associated physical vibration) that we cannot detect, to be phantom sounds or tinnitus? Is there a difference?

We have two current complaints from elderly ladies living alone who are utterly convinced that their neighbors are running their washing machines throughout the night, every night. I would like to give them some information to try to open their minds so they understand that there are some other explanations for their perception of noise.

When you took this position as an Environmental Health Officer, I’ll bet you never anticipated that one of your jobs would be to “police” complaints of phantom noise! Unfortunately, more and more people are “hearing” (and complaining) about such sounds.

As you are learning, when you receive complaints of noise that you cannot hear, nor can you detect it with your sensitive sound equipment, and only the person complaining can “hear” these sounds, you are probably safe in assuming that you are dealing with people who have tinnitus and/or Musical Ear Syndrome (MES).

In the past, I know even some doctors were fooled into believing such people had super-acute hearing (hyperacusis), and that was why they could hear sounds that no one else heard. For example, one elderly lady who was almost deaf—she couldn’t even hear me when I was talking loudly right into her ear—said she could hear sounds from way down the street, which her doctor had diagnosed as hyperacusis.

I thought to myself, “Yeah! Right! She can’t hear sounds from even 2 feet away—how can she possibly hear sounds from a block or more away?

Her doctors were wrong! This lady didn’t have hyperacusis, she had Musical Ear Syndrome!”

Thus, when people hear sounds that they swear are washing machines/ tumble driers, generators, rumbles (sometimes with the associated physical vibration) that you cannot detect with your equipment, and especially if they are also report feeling the vibrations of these supposed machines, you can almost be certain the person has MES.

You see, the people that “hear” such phantom low-frequency sounds also often experience an equally-phantom sensation of rumbling or vibration. This makes it most difficult to believe that what you are both “hearing” and “feeling” is not real at all, but totally phantom.

Tinnitus sounds are simple, unmodulated sounds, whereas MES sounds are more complex sounds. Thus I’d class things such as washing machines, driers, generators and so on as MES sounds, as they are more than just a simple, repetitive sound. Whether these sounds are tinnitus or MES doesn’t really make any difference—they are all still phantom sounds.

Another clue that you are dealing with people who are experiencing MES is your statement, “We have two current complaints from elderly ladies living alone utterly convinced that their neighbors are washing throughout the night, every night.” You know that no one runs the washer all night long—every night.

One lady complained to me that the couple in the apartment above her were making love all night long—every night. That doesn’t happen in real life either! She was also misled in believing the phantom sounds she was “hearing” were real.

In another case, a man believed that his landlady, who lived below him, had it in for him because every night when he went to bed she’d begin to play loud music. Not only that, he believed she also had some type of vibrating device that she attached to her ceiling to shake his floor. This man both heard and felt this phantom music every night—again, not a real-life scenario.

Furnaces, air conditioners, fridge motors and fans can all cause Musical Ear Syndrome in some people. Their brains somehow modulate these low-frequency sounds, and convert them into music—often sounding much like an orchestra warming up or playing. So there are all sorts of variations to what your ladies are experiencing. Although all the experiences are somewhat different, what remains the same is that all these people experience hearing phantom sounds, but cannot believe these sounds are not real.

In helping such people, the first thing you have to determine is whether they can understand and accept that the sounds and sensations they are feeling are truly phantom. If they cannot understand/accept that, then you are going to have a tough time.

It’s extremely hard to accept that something that has sound, has directionality (you know its coming from the landlady downstairs, for example) and has sensations (floor vibrating), all at the same time is not real. Furthermore, if the person’s only frame of reference is that people who experience such things are “crazy”, your job just became almost impossible.

I’ve found that people in their 80s and upwards seem to have a mental block so that they either won’t, or can’t, accept that these sounds are phantom. Generally, people under 80 or so, when you explain what is happening in their ears and brains, can accept/understand that these sounds are phantom, and then act accordingly—not banging on the landlady’s door at two in the morning demanding she stop the racket like the gentleman in the above story did!

You can learn more about Musical Ear Syndrome in my book, “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds“.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A concerned daughter wrote:

My mother is hearing a repetitive song and I would like to know what I can do for her. She is 99 years old, very hard of hearing, and because she does not hear people, has withdrawn and spends a lot of time alone. Even though I have told her that it is all in her head, she still keeps referring to the lady next door playing her music.

Being elderly, having a hearing loss, withdrawing, and being alone in a quiet environment are all factors that predispose people to hearing phantom music. The name for this condition is Musical Ear Syndrome (MES).

You can’t do anything about your mother’s age, but you can help her with the other factors. For example, she needs to enrich her environment with real sounds. She can do this by getting and wearing hearing aids, or by using various assistive listening devices that let her hear people talking to her. The more she stimulates her brain with real sound, the less time her brain will have to play the phantom sounds.

Getting her involved with people again—probably only one at a time since it is difficult to understand people in groups when you have a severe hearing loss—will give her something to focus on besides her phantom music.

When a person withdraws, they generally feel depressed and that often means they also focus on things going wrong with their bodies such as the phantom music your mom is hearing. The best way to treat this depression is to become involved in life again.

Incidentally, I have found that it is very hard to get people over the age of 85 or so to understand that the music they are hearing is phantom. They can’t seem to get it through their heads that this music is not real, so that approach may be a losing battle. Also, they may refuse to accept that what they are hearing is phantom because to them, hearing phantom sounds equates with being crazy, and no one wants to admit to that. Thus they continue to blame the music on others (neighbors).

Furthermore, since the phantom music seems to have directionality—coming from the lady next door—it is even more difficult to convince an elderly person that this music is not real, but phantom.

The trick is to get your mother’s mind focused on other things (and thus off her phantom music) by having her become involved in various activities again. When people do this, their phantom music often fades into the background to some degree.

Unfortunately, her phantom music may come back at night when her mind isn’t focused on anything. If her hearing loss isn’t too great, she could listen to real music on a bedside radio to mask the phantom music while she falls asleep, but if her loss is too severe (like mine is), this won’t work as the volume required would wake the whole neighborhood—and they’ll be upset at hearing real music in the wee hours!

If you want to learn more about Musical Ear Syndrome and some of the things you can do to help bring it under control, see the book, “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds“.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

Musical Ear Syndrome (MES) is a condition where a person hears phantom, non-tinnitus sounds—typically music, singing, voices or other sounds.

Although it is quite common, especially among people with hearing loss, few people openly talk about it for fear of being thought crazy.

The good news is that Musical Ear Syndrome is not a psychiatric condition, but rather something not working quite right in the auditory system. In other words, yes you can hear phantom sounds; but no, you are not crazy.

I have been studying MES for several years, and have written several articles and a book on the subject based on the hundreds and hundreds of people that contact me for help.

Unfortunately, medical doctors do not recognize Musical Ear Syndrome as a “real” condition, and many even tell their patients that there is no such thing as MES. This needs to change.

As a result, I have teamed up with Dr. Richard McCollum, a psychiatrist, to study MES in greater detail with a view to having it become a valid medical diagnosis. When this is done, people suffering from MES will hopefully be correctly diagnosed and treated, rather than being thought “crazy” and being drugged with anti-psychotic medications as so often happens now.

To help us in our further research, we would like to hear more stories of your experiences with MES. Therefore, if you “hear” sounds that no one else hears, please fill out our survey form at the bottom of my article “Musical Ear Syndrome“. It will help us to help others with Musical Ear Syndrome.

In the meantime, if you have Musical Ear Syndrome, my book, “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds” explains what Musical Ear Syndrome is, and what you can do to help bring it under control.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A nurse explained:

Recently an elderly friend of my neighbor suddenly began hearing “singing” auditory hallucinations at night. She has had hearing aids for some time and has had a lot of difficulty with them. She has even changed doctors because she was not happy. Could the sudden onset of the hallucinations be related to further hearing problems? I am hoping it is a hearing and not a psychiatric problem. I read too much about polypharmacy and drug interactions to be okay with the medications the elderly are prescribed. She went to her MD today and right away he presumed it was a psychiatric problem and prescribed Risperdal, which, in my opinion, is a nasty drug with a black box warning when prescribed to the elderly. I got a drug monograph for my neighbor (her request) and decided to see what I could find on auditory hallucinations; that’s when I came across your web site. Any alternative to those medications would be so much better.

I agree with you. In cases like this, drugs are seldom the answer because there are some better alternatives. The phantom sounds your neighbor’s friend is hearing could be related to further hearing loss, or to a combination of things including aging, hearing loss, tinnitus, quiet environment, mental attitude, stress, medications, etc.

Unfortunately, far too many elderly people are taking numerous drugs. Did you know that there are more than 250 drugs that can cause hallucinations such as she is experiencing? Since the phantom music came on suddenly, one way to try to track down the cause is to find out whether she recently changed her medications (either began a new drug or changed the dose on an existing one). If there is a close correlation, then that drug is likely the culprit. Stopping that drug could stop any future phantom sound episodes.

It bothers me that her doctor “right away presumed it was a psychiatric problem and prescribed Risperdal” without even determining whether she had a psychiatric condition or something benign such as Musical Ear Syndrome.

Things are not always what they seem at first glance. No doubt what this lady is experiencing is almost certainly related to a “ear” problem and not to a psychiatric problem. Of the hundreds and hundreds of people that have contacted me regarding hearing phantom music (and other phantom sounds), perhaps 3 had what I would consider a psychiatric problem. The rest were as sane as you and me. They just had some problems with their auditory systems that produced phantom sounds.

The best information available on the causes of Musical Ear Syndrome and ways to bring it under control (at least in my opinion, and I’m a wee bit biased because I wrote it) is the article “Musical Ear Syndrome—The Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds Many Hard of Hearing People Secretly Experience“, and my easy-to-read book on the subject “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds“.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A lady explained:

I read your article on Musical Ear Syndrome with interest because although my hearing is normal, I suffer from insomnia because I hear music and singing through the night.

What particularly caught my attention is that a couple of the people you quote have heard exactly the same songs that I have. So my suggestion is the following. Would there be a way to test the homes of a people who claim to have the same symptoms. To me it is as if there were radio waves coming from the vents at different frequencies. If I listen from one angle, I’ll hear a choir singing the back-up. In fact, I remember that this morning I heard the words “addicted to love” and “1 2 3 4″ and “Daddy Come Home” in conjunction with the main song(s) that were playing.

I’ve been jotting them down, but I have heard distinctly Amazing Grace, Battle Hymn of the Republic, some John Phillip Sousa march, Bolero, etc. How could so many people experience the same exact songs? I wondered for a while if it wasn’t some kind of terrorist communication or music for our armed forces.

Like one of your interviewees, I had the manager contact the people above and below me to see if he could find out who was doing it. The music or waves or vibrations that I interpret as music seem to be stronger where the vents are located in our apartment.

Most people that hear these phantom sounds have a hearing loss, but a number of people with normal hearing such as yourself contact me because they also hear these phantom sounds.

The reason so many people “hear” the same phantom songs is that these songs were popular when they were younger—so these songs are in all of your collective memories already. When the conditions are right, you, like them, hear these same songs. It is nothing esoteric.

People desperately want to find a rational reason for the phantom music they are “hearing”, because to them, the only other explanation is that they are crazy. Thus they come up with some “interesting” explanations for these phantom sounds. Your explanation, “to me it is as if there were radio waves coming from the vents at different frequencies”, is actually quite near the truth, surprisingly enough.

You have likely hit the nail on the head in that you feel the sounds are coming from the furnace vents. I agree, however, your theory of why this is so is a bit off. Let me explain.

What happens to a number of people is that their brains’ for some reason modulate any continuous background sound (such as the sound produced by a furnace, air conditioner or fan) to sound like music. Then your brain takes a song out of memory and somehow melds the two together into the phantom music you now “hear”. (Other people, including myself, hear the same kind of thing when flying—our brains modulate the continuous drone of the jet engines into what sounds like various pieces of music, although sometimes it just sounds like an orchestra warming up.)

When the furnace, air conditioner or fan stops, the music stops too. Check this out and notice whether it happens in your case too.

It may seem strange that a number of people, including yourself, have contacted the manager in your building about people causing this loud music at ungodly hours.

However, it is not really as strange as it seems. You see, the sounds seem to have directionality. Thus, you “know” they are coming from above you or below you (even though, in actual fact, they are all in your head).

As you have noticed, the phantom music is loudest near the vents in your apartment because that is where the underlying sound from the furnace/air conditioner/fan is coming from.

Your brain then modulates this sound so you “hear” music or singing. I don’t know why sometimes you hear music and other times singing. I suspect it is related to the frequencies of sound and their variability that your ears are picking up at any given time. Then your brain modulates these sounds and adds its own version of “intelligence” to them—thus the music and singing.

Other people have reported “hearing” similar things to what you are experiencing. For them, when the furnace/air conditioner/fan turns itself off, the phantom music also stops. Fascinating, isn’t it?

(Note: this is just one of the many kinds and causes of the phantom sounds that comprise Musical Ear Syndrome. To learn more about this fascinating subject read “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds“.

by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

A concerned daughter wrote:

My mother, who is 83, has hearing loss and lives alone in an apartment in a quiet area. My brother lives next door. She has been hearing phantom music for some years now, and we cannot get her to accept that it is all in her head. We have taken her to several doctors for help, but they don’t seem like they want to be bothered. She has had tests which have come back fine, so she refuses to believe that it is her.

She is accusing the woman that lives next door to my brother of playing music all day. Then she is accusing my brother of continuing playing the same music when he gets home from work and all night long.

We have had people go over to her place to listen, and when they tell her they don’t hear anything, she insists that they are all crazy. We have tried everything we can to convince her that she is the only one hearing the music, and that she has MES [Musical Ear Syndrome]. She refuses to accept it. Do you know of someone we can talk to, or some place we can take tor to that will help us convince her of her problem? We are at the end of our rope and need help!

I understand. Doctor’s don’t seem to be of much help, mostly, I think, because they know nothing about Musical Ear Syndrome (MES). As a result, they don’t have a clue how to treat it—so give you the brush-off.

Unfortunately, I’m not aware of any doctor or facility that is truly knowledgeable about MES and hearing loss, and thus is qualified to help your mom.

The best information available on MES (at least in my opinion, and I’m a wee bit biased because I wrote it) is the article “Musical Ear Syndrome—The Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds Many Hard of Hearing People Secretly Experience“, and my book on the subject “Phantom Voices, Ethereal Music & Other Spooky Sounds“.

Now let’s look at your mom’s situation. Blaming the neighbors for the phantom music she is hearing is unfortunately, a common tactic for those that experience MES and refuse to admit these sounds are phantom. I hear such complaints quite often. Since this phantom music often appears to have directionality, your mom “KNOWS” it is coming from the room next door (as opposed to the one across the hall, or on the other side of the street, etc.) This gives an added layer of reality to these phantom sounds, which makes it so much more difficult for her to accept that these sounds are all in her head.

Some people also “feel” their phantom music—they can actually “feel” the room or floor vibrating in time to the music. When you “hear” music, can tell exactly from which direction it is coming, and can “feel” the beat, can you blame someone for refusing to accept that the music is phantom? That’s how “real” it is to them.

From time to time, I both “hear” and “feel” certain phantom sounds so I know just how eerily real these sensations truly are. This is quite a hurdle to overcome, and is one of the problems your mom has to deal with.

When she hears the phantom music so loud and clear, it is hard for her to accept that other people can’t hear the same music she is hearing. As you explained, “We have also had people go over to her place to listen and when they tell her they don’t hear anything, she insists that they are all crazy.”

Some people even insist that these “listeners” are hard of hearing themselves, and that is why they can’t hear the music. Your mom says they are crazy instead.

You are doing the right things in getting others to listen and corroborate what you already have found out, that there isn’t any real music playing.

In my experience, a number of people in their 80s and older refuse to accept this. (People in their 60s and 70s are much more willing to accept a hearing person’s word that the music is phantom.) However, when people reach their 80s and 90s often it is like talking to a brick wall. You just can’t seem to get through to them as is the case with your mom even though they are not crazy.

I think the real underlying problem is that to her, if a person hears “voices” or music, they are crazy. That is her only point of reference, and she has held this deeply-rooted belief all her life. Therefore, if she admits that what she hears is all in her head, then she is admitting, at the same time, that she, herself, is crazy. Although she may secretly believe that she IS going crazy, she will never admit it to anyone else. Therefore, the only alternative she has (from her perspective) is to believe that the sounds are indeed real, and therefore, someone or something is causing them.

If she would listen and try to understand, you can explain that there are not one, but two kinds of phantom sounds—the kind she knows about (and fears) where the person has a mental problem, and the other kind, which we call MES (and which she has not heard anything about) that happens to many hard of hearing people who are perfectly sane (but who are, at times, completely fooled by the activity going on in the auditory circuits of their brains). This will be a new concept for her, and some elderly people have a most difficult time grasping such new concepts. Continue to drill it into her that it is her ears (actually the auditory circuits in her brain) that are not working properly, and that she is not crazy (or whatever favorite term she uses).

In addition, many elderly people have very short memory spans for current events, so what you explain to them today, they have forgotten by tomorrow. Thus each day you may need to explain over again about the phantom music.

Another important aspect of this problem is dealing with the supposed perpetrators of the “music”. What happens is the person with MES begins to think very badly towards the neighbor who is so “mean” and “inconsiderate” as to play this loud music all night long just so they can’t sleep.

The person with MES may knock on their neighbor’s door at 3 o’clock in the morning and demand they turn the music off. They may complain to the other neighbors about the “bad” neighbor, refuse to talk to them, or snub them in the dining room.

By the same token, the “bad” neighbor gets tired of all the false accusations and gossip about them and snubs her “crazy” neighbor.

Make no mistake, there are often very real interpersonal problems between those involved. Thus, you need to try to defuse this situation as much as possible. Explain to the “bad” neighbor what is going on, and how MES sounds seem so real and have direction so that they are being blamed for something this is not their fault at all.

When the neighbors and management understand what is going on, they can make allowances for her, and hopefully keep the situation from escalating.